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Post divorce dating transition guy

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Immediately after your divorce you might be emotional and feel lonely. Resist the urge — if you can — to immediately find a shoulder to cry on in the form of a romantic partner. Speed dating allows you to meet several guys on the same night in a controlled environment, test the waters a bit, see what’s out there these days, and remind yourself how easy it is to flirt and mingle. Talk about your interests, hobbies, books you’ve read or movies you’ve watched.

Then try a one-on-one date with a guy you’re interested in. But whatever you do, avoid talking about the following two topics: 1 ) DO NOT talk about your ex.

Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.

Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .

These patterns include feelings of vulnerability, getting back into the game fast, looking for a serious relationship immediately and, increasingly, dating online.

Divorce makes men feel vulnerable, not only because they are now left to grieve the end of a significant relationship, but because they see themselves differently.

But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.

So how can you make post-divorce dating—whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man—less daunting?

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Except it’s better now because you have your own place, car and money. Spend a few months (or more if necessary) being single.Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.Robert Murray Davis, author of “Mid-Life Mojo: A Guide for the Newly Single Male." Many men feel desperate after divorce and jump into relationships too quickly.Moving to date someone new too soon after divorce is a common mistake, notes Davis.One can live alone, yet have a full social life and career.